December 1, 2014

If It Doesn’t Make You Happy… Stop.

Control is a funny thing. We all seek it out in different aspects of our lives, and it’s the first thing we claim to have none of. I’m the first person to agree that we have little control over most aspects of our lives. I’ve seen this lesson play true time and time again as I make plans for one thing, and an entirely different life event happens.

One of the few areas in our lives that we have some control over is our free time. For the past few months since I started a new job, I’ve been spending my free time (the weekends) rushing through errands and spending 8-12 hours of time to catch up on blogging.

After another hectic weekend like this, my boyfriend asked if I enjoyed spending my weekends this way. “Well, no… not at all. I just have to do it,” I explained.

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His raised eyebrow told me he wasn’t buying the line, and it forced me to take a step back and really look at how I was spending my free time.

Don’t get me wrong, I love blogging. I have made some connections through blogging that mean more to me than I can say. I’ve met kindred hearts and like-minded people from around the globe… people who I might not ever have had the chance to meet otherwise.

With that said, since starting a new job and opening up a small shop, I’ve quickly realized my plate is overflowing and my happiness is suffering because of it. (Also, you should see my poor pets – holy moly, do they act up while I’m staring mindlessly at a computer screen all day instead of outside enjoying time with them!)

And in honor of keeping life simple, if it doesn’t make you happy… stop.

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By stopping, I don’t mean I’m ending my blog or my shop, it just means it’s time for change. I’ve seen the numbers dwindling here over the past few months with fewer returned visits, fewer comments, and less interaction; I honestly believe this is because I am forcing myself to make a presence on my blog even when I have nothing to say / add to someone’s day.

I don’t want to write forced content as much as y’all don’t want to read it. And even if change can be frightening (Will I lose the readers/connections I have left? Will my blog become a ghost town?), it’s so necessary at times for happiness.

A few of the changes I’ll be making:
♥ I am not going to promise 3 posts a week anymore. What I will promise is a post at least once a week filled with real words, emotions, and something to connect with.

♥ I’m cancelling Passion Fruit Ads; in other words, I will not be offering sponsorship on my blog anymore. I will always be open to ad swaps, though!

♥ This week I’ll be sharing a Small Shops, Big Hearts holiday gift guide and I have the (overdue) November post to publish, but after that I’m ending the feature. It’s been an amazing ride over the past 6 months and I’ll miss it!

Now after I’ve typed far too many words all about a few small changes, I hope you’re still reading. The most important message has yet to be said: Thank you. Thank you for sticking around while this blog went from career girl rants to aspiring farmer posts. Thank you for supporting me through two different blogs and continuing to show up with friendly words and comfort that warms my heart.

And most importantly, thank you for sticking around through long-winded posts like this that really could have been summed up with a paragraph. You get an A for dedication and determination.

How do you handle changes?

How have you changed your blogging over the years?

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http://www.adventuresofbugandboo.com/ TheAdventuresofBugandBoo

Sometimes a little breather is a wonderful thing!! I hope that you find yourself rejuvenated with these changes!
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Thanks, sweet friend! I definitely think these changes will help… I just don’t want anything to feel forced, yanno? I started finding myself throwing together posts just to have something published and it felt so wrong!
http://jenniferkellandperry.wordpress.com/ Jennifer

I don’t think your posts are longwinded at all (though I don’t always have time to comment). As for your need to cut back a bit, I can completely relate to it as a necessary move on your part. Sometimes it is hard to find the balance that makes us happy and fulfilled, but not overwhelmed.

I usually blog about once or twice a week. Sometimes I’m afraid blogging too often will turn readers off, I do’t know. But that’s me.
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  The balance between happy/fulfilled versus overwhelmed is a hard balance to find! I seem to always have my plates spilling one way or another because I stack too much on them… I’m glad to know I’m not alone And I love your outlook on posting 1-2 times a week. I’m sure it definitely gives readers a bit more to look forward to!
http://www.tinabumblebee.com Tina Yurek

I can’t even imagine promising 3 posts a week! That’s a lot! You’re right, if something isn’t making you happy then quit it… and if blogging is feeling forced then it’s good you’re re-evaluating it. I only write when I have something to say or photos to post. That means it’s sometimes 4x one week and then once the next couple weeks but oh well. I don’t have a million readers or anything but that’s not the entire point, right?
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  “if something isn’t making you happy then quit it… and if blogging is feeling forced then it’s good you’re re-evaluating it.” — I couldn’t agree more, Tina! I definitely want blogging to be something I look forward to again, instead of… oh man, I need to think of something to post! And you’re right, it’s not about the number of readers, but the connections we make with those who do read
http://writemeg.com/ Meg

Making changes can be scary but really energizing, too. When I started giving myself permission to not post every day and just focus on saying what I wanted to say when I wanted to say it, I felt so much happier. It’s funny how we think things just “are the way they are” without realizing that we do have some control over a bit of that, haha . . . it’s easy to fall into that thinking. Hoping this leads to positive change for you!
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Scary but energizing… yes! I already am feeling so much more positive about this virtual space by allowing myself to do it when it feels right, instead of when I feel like I “have to” It’s so easy to fall into helpless thinking patterns as if we don’t have any control over anything… but I love how we all can bounce back from that so quickly, and say – hey, wait a minute, I do have control here! Thanks for the support sweet friend
http://www.thisdarlingday.com/ Aimee | This Darling Day

I completely understand, Caitlin! I’ve gone from posting five times a week to not posting at all and everything in between. You have to do what’s right for you at each stage in your life. Not matter what in capacity you continue to blog, I’ll be here waiting read your words! xo
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  So glad to know I’m not alone with this! Sometimes I feel flakey because I’m all over the place trying to find balance between my full-time job, blogging, running a small shop, and home responsibilities. But you’re so right — we’re all just doing what feels right for any point in our lives. Thank you so much for the support + sweet words!
http://littlestepsbigheart.blogspot.com/ Louann Kristy

Wow, to even do 3 posts a week was hard sometimes for me, and these days I can’t even promise every week due to work.

I do love your blog. I’m a new follower *waves* hiii … still looking forward to a weekly update.
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Work definitely makes it hard to post regularly! I wish there was enough time to do everything we want and need to do in a day. So glad that you are a new follower, I am loving checking out your blog too
http://www.apartment-wife.com/ jennifer prod

oh caitlin, even when you talk about blogging less, you do it with such heart that i could read a novel about the topic. i hope the changes truly do make you more happy <3
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Your comments ALWAYS brighten my day <3 Thanks for the sweet words + support, Jennifer!
http://www.embergrey.com/ Emily @ Ember Grey.

Caitlin, I completely understand this and am SO proud of you for listening to it and honoring the change. Even after my Breaktober, I’ve taken a bit of a step back from blogging still… I haven’t been posting as much or reading all of my favorite blogs as often as I usually do because there just isn’t enough time in the day! And that’s okay. Life is meant to be lived and sometimes that just means shifting things around a bit I will still look forward to your posts on here, and wish you a very happy time of breathing and LIVING! xo
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  “Life is meant to be lived and sometimes that just means shifting things around a bit :)” So true, right? I always worry I’m going to “lose” friends and connections I’ve made if I stop blogging as frequently. I’ve been learning to rely a little bit more on Twitter/FB/IG to stay in contact with lovelies… like you! I love reading all of your posts even if I can’t comment on every one anymore. Thanks for being so supportive <3
http://www.littlebigharvest.blogspot.com Andrea @Little Big Harvest

Thank you for expressing that feeling of blog-burnout so well! Though I’d never have guessed you’d be feeling it…your posts are always so wonderful, and bring me such a feeling of peace. I have had the exact thought many times; “If it’s not making me happy anymore, don’t do it.” Though my blog brings me utter and complete joy, I have begun to look at it as an option, not a requirement. Once it’s a requirement, I resent it. When I feel like writing, I do. When I don’t, I don’t. I was putting too much pressure on myself to get all the posts that are in my head, and all my experiences, down in the blog, and I was getting grouchy and burned out. My family and home need ME, not my blog. Kudos to you for examining your true needs, but don’t go too far! I love your blog too much for it to completely go away. <3
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Andrea, it makes me SO happy to hear that my posts didn’t feel forced to people reading them even if some of them felt forced as I was writing them. Your comment just made my afternoon <3
  I love your outlook on option versus requirement, and just thinking of my blog as an option makes me excited again! I am definitely going to stick with blogging at least once a week + I'm hopeful someday I'll be able to invest more time into it again! My blog is definitely not ending anytime soon… and I love your blog so much too!
http://www.hollandsreverie.blogspot.com Hollands reverie

Good for you!!! Blogging is a lots of work, and while I’m with you I love reading other blogs, lately it’s felt like returning comments has gotten to be a chore and there’s no reading for pleasure anymore but Im just not sure what to do, so I may follow your words!
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Reading and writing a blog is SO time consuming! Sometimes I wonder if it’s easier being just a blog writer or just a blog reader. I miss being able to read every single post from my 300+ blogs I follow, but sadly – there just isn’t time anymore (my new job has STRICT internet policies and everything’s blocked). I’ve been reading blogs when I find the time which often results in 3-4 comments in a row to a blogger (as I’m sure you’ve seen me doing on your blog :-P), but I just love reading blogs too much to quit it!
http://www.RunToRadiance.com/ Tania

I think this is great! I took a mini-break myself for the past two weeks and really feel much more refreshed, centered and EXCITED to blog more. You have a lot of other creative ventures going on and i’m excited to watch what happens!
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Being excited to blog is such a great feeling! It definitely feels like I have a lot of boiling pots on the stove – so to speak, but it’s an exciting time where I feel like I’m just embracing whatever makes me happy
http://theselightfootsteps.com Christine

Good for you! Blogging is such a great way to share our passions, but we loose touch with the reason we started when it becomes something we force ourselves to do! It’s so easy to get caught up in “I should be doing this…” etc., but it’s always good to come back to what’s best for you! Those people who appreciate what you do most will still come check out what you’re doing whether you post once a month or three times a week! I’ve seen too many bloggers burn out trying to keep up with a demanding schedule of posts per week, but honestly, I think a few less is better – I like reading what everyone has to say, but I don’t have time to read bloggers who post every day – it’s too much!

Enjoy your new found weekend freedom!
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Christine, you hit the nail on the head! My blog quickly got out of control when I stopped writing for me & started writing for what I thought people wanted or was marketable. I definitely have noticed on posts where I’m just me, honest, and just enjoying the writing process, I see way more interaction with readers and people talking about connections. Pinterest-worthy posts just don’t do much for most people’s hearts & souls!
  I am sorry to you that the Small Shops, Big Hearts post has been delayed. I am hoping to knock it out tonight when I get home from work… life has just been hectic! Thanks for being so supportive & understanding.
http://aller-dings.blogspot.com/ D.

such an important lesson to learn. sometimes you just can’t do it all and it’s ok. it will be fine, even better, but in a different way. i hope you have a wonderful december, filled with outdoor activities cheers to change!
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Thanks for the support It’s funny that we all have such a hard time accepting that we can’t do it all, but it seems to be something so many of us struggle with. Cheers to change is right!
Allie @ 6000 Miles to Home

I’m so glad that you’re making some changes that will re-balance your life – you deserve it! I was feeling the same way a couple of months ago, asking myself why I felt guilty every time I didn’t blog more than once a week. You’re doing the right thing – your blog will shine because of it!
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  Thanks Allie Guilt over blogging is a funny concept… right? I used to think I was wacky to feel guilty when I neglected my blog, but I’ve heard so many other bloggers making the same claim that I swear we all get blogging burn-out here + there, haha.
Shannon

Good for you hon! I did this last year and it feels soooo much better. Can you believe I started out with 3 posts a day, 5 days a week? Granted, they were short inspiration type posts, but still. Then I went to once a day. Now I’m at 2, sometimes 1 a week. It’s hard when you’re trying to earn money from your blog too. I started with sponsors (before Passionfruit ads were even around) and found that having them gave me stress about my pageviews. I much prefer ad networks or no ads at all. I don’t think the lack of comments/interaction has anything to do with you or your posts. Everyone in Blogland is experiencing this as more and more people turn to social media to follow people. As bloggers we are constantly needing to embrace change, and it sounds like you are doing the right thing for yourself, your family and your happiness. Much respect!!! xo
- http://belongwithwildflowers.com/ Caitlin
  
  3 posts a day, 5 days a week?! Oh my goodness, let me just bow to the blogging goddess because I could never, ever keep up with that! I couldn’t agree more about the stress that comes with sponsorships. Just removing that aspect from my blog has made me feel so much better, not worrying about the advertising, the promoting, etc.
  
  And you made such an awesome point about less interaction… there’s more and more people flooding to social media and blogging, which makes finding/interacting with blogs a lot harder! Thanks for all the support… much respect to you too! XO
http://www.globetrottinginheels.com/ Elisa

Good for you! I have arrived to a similar conclusion not too long ago, when I took a step back and a blogging sabbatical of sorts, and got as far as considering shutting down my blog. What it took for me to get back to it with renewed passion was realizing that it was entirely my choice, and that it is in my control, because I don’t depend on anyone nor do I have to answer to anyone. Once it stopped feeling like a duty, it started being one of my favorite things again.

Congrats on opening your shop! I am off to check it out