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{ Grateful Heart Monday, hosted by Ember Grey, is a series + week-long linkup that is about starting each week with a grateful heart. }

What started out as a mini-road trip vacation turned into a week-long retreat from my full-time job, blogging, and all extracurricular activities. Until we really force ourselves to slow down come to a screeching halt, we don’t realize how fast we’ve been travelling in life. Before last week’s vacation, I have to be honest… I’ve been struggling.

Anxious. Worried. Unsettled. Restless. Doubtful.

You name the feeling, and I’ve been having it lately. While my guy and I save money to start a farm, the day-to-day feels like life on autopilot. Wake, commute, work, shower, dinner, sleep – rinse and repeat for most days of the week.

For awhile I accepted that I’m in limbo; I simply won’t be happy with a 9-to-5 job because it’s not what speaks to my soul. My heart awoke each day with the desire to shuffle through the next eight hours of work to get one day closer to living my dreams. But after pushing through each day for months, my heart finally said, “No more.”

Whether we are living the life of our dreams or living in a less-than-desirable day-to-day, it’s a huge disservice to ourselves to simply settle. Over the past few weeks, I tuned into my heart. I listened to what it needed, what it craved, and what was missing.

Kindness. Understanding. Positivity. Flexibility. Happiness.

Even if our 9-to-5 job doesn’t set our souls on fire with passion, it’s still a large chunk of time that affects our day-to-day lives. My heart knew it all along, but I wasn’t listening until lately: allowing a negative environment to take over 40+ hours of your week doesn’t allow you to live truly, authentically, and positively.

Which is why I began job searching several weeks ago, in hopes of finding – not a dream position (as much as I’d love to take a job on a local farm right now, it would completely slow down the savings process) – but a position I could comfortably live with. A position with room to grow as an individual and professional; a position within a positive environment where toxic people aren’t encouraged or allowed.

And last week, while I enjoyed my time in Indiana (and secretly awaited news from an interview), the call came through. “We’d love to offer you a position to join our team.”

It doesn’t matter that this new job is not a “forever job”. It doesn’t matter that in another year’s time, I’ll be job searching yet again – from several states away as we make Vermont our home. What matters is that the autopilot shuffle in my life is gone.

My heart is awake again with ideas and an eagerness to work in a positive environment. My soul feels rejuvenated at the idea of new coworkers, a new workplace culture, and the ability to start fresh. My worries feel quieted as I know that, at minimum, my daily environment will improve.

And that is why I’m starting this week with a grateful heart ♥